Urgh, that's rough. I hear you. It's difficult. Dr. Sears says the number one issue parents have is sleep issues. Go figure.
I can be a real pushover with bedtime. We have a lot of friends who do the "family bed" method and as the kids get older (toddler, preschool, 5, 6, etc.), the kids transition and share a bed together. They have NO bedtime battles--it's so easy. Why didn't I think of that? That's how it's done in so many places in the world. I've seen it! I sometimes think that only in America do we push the whole "independent" thing like we do--hurry and walk, hurry and talk, hurry and do things yourself. UGH. And then we as parents can sometimes feel like we're not doing well enough if we're not doing that, too. Okay, holy tangent. :P This is something I think about a lot, can you tell? Living in Africa has really affected my world view. :P
Anyway! I'll stop wondering out loud (I'm such a talker) and just say--so sorry, Jill. That is the stuff that pulls at your heart, eh? You're a good mom and I'm sure your kids know how much you love them.
I am kinda torn down the middle with the family bed idea. I like my own space and the thought of little feet and bums in my face all night long doesn't thrill me. Plus, I am a big beliver in bed time. The two hours of no kids is the only time Kent and I have together sometimes. However, I do think that bonding and security are very important and my kids do sleep better when they are in bed with us, even if we do not. When Kaden was small, were super strict on sleeping in your own bed, but as each kiddo has come along, we got more and more lax on things. Lucy was in our room for nearly a year, partly for space reasons, but a lot of it was because I liked her there. I think it is good for infants to have total security and I know she liked being so close to Kent and I. The problem now is that we have no access to our room from 7:30 on each night. I can't read in there because the light wakes her up where it used to not, plus I like to fold laundry at night (I don't know why, I just do) and she pops right up the minute I try to put my socks away. It was gettting rather annoying so she had to move out. =) We moved her in with Weston and it didn't go so super. I ended up sleeping in Weston's bed and Wes was in with Kent. Lucy, however, really liked being in a big crib. She has been in a little pack n' play and I think she was grooving on stretching out. We'll see how naptime goes, and tonight will be round two. Wish us luck!
Jill, omigosh you hit the nail on the head with explaining why I think so many of us feel torn on it (I do, too)--there are pros and cons. It's so hard! I think it's funny that people equate sleep issues with newborns. I think sleep issues get trickier as babies get older! :P
We have friends who have the siblings (3 of them -- ages 5, 4, and 2) share a full (or queen?) sized bed. They say the three of them enjoy it, settle down eventually, and sleep well together. But they're in their own bed together and not in the parents' bed (once the kids wean more and are 1 or older). I hadn't ever heard of that.
Good luck--does she like pillows? Putting a pillow in Maxim's crib made a big difference. But being honest, our kids are 5 and 8 and we find ourselves constantly tweaking our approaches with bedtime (as they get older, they stay up and read, etc.). Sleep is so tricky--you can't force them to sleep but we all full well know how much happier we all are with GOOD, uniterrupted sleep. I hope naps go well and sleep tonight, too!!
Yea for you! I say kick em out before they kick you! I am sorry I don't share the same ideas as Boquina- but I like to sleep when night comes. I sometimes miss the days when I had a bed of my own- it is only a few years of absolute freedom- where you get your own space- let Lucy enjoy the 18 years of her life where she doesn't have to smell someone else's stinky breath all night! :) You dug out the crib eh? Sorry if I caused you to have storage issues with the other bed! My advice--Let her cry! It makes me feel good sometimes to just let it out and then move on--I'm sure Lucy is the same- she is a girl after all...good luck!
I remember reading in a book how It didn't make sense that we force the littlest most vunerable one to sleep alone and the adults get to sleep together. that thought alsways comes to mind when my kids are trying to get into our bed. Jon's boss told us that they let their bigger kids make a bed on their floor if they are having trouble sleeping, so that is what we do when they want to start the night in our bed. Like Saturday when we were bad parents and let them watch the new Indiana Jones. ANd wouldn't stay in thier own room. But I really love that alone time and I dont' sleep well with little bodies kicking me. Hang in there. it will get better.
We had Isaac in his own room and his own crib right from the start, but when Noah was born we had him in our room until we moved to our condo (for his first 9 months of life). It was AWFUL. I hated every minute of it. I woke up at every noise he made, and like you said, we couldn't use our room from 7:00 at night until the morning, not to mention nap times. I am NOT for a family bed at all. I need my space. Isaac was just fine by himself from the start, and I'll never have a baby in my room again if I can help it.
Savannah is still in our bed with us. I have kept them all in bed with me until they stopped nursing. But this itty bitty doesn't look like she will be wanting to wean anytime soon. It is really hard to do in the begining, but truthfully over time she won't cry and will be able to sleep without you. Good luck, I feel for you, cause i'm sure I will be going through the same thing in just a few months.
Jill, are you a wanna-be hippie? I like you more and more all the time. :P It's funny--there are so many little things you post and say that make me think you and I have a lot in common and would have a really fun time together.
My in-laws called us "activists" one time. I was really surprised but to them it seemed so obvious. Activisits? Us? Huh. I hadn't considered it really. They got a big kick out of that. I think they're sometimes not sure what to do with us--we live in an 1850s farmhouse with a big yard instead of a subdivision, we have our own business, we homeschool, we like getting politically and socially involved, we love nerdy hobbies like writing, music, culture, religions, and languages, we grow organic food, we're getting chickens next spring. Chickens! Whatever will they do with us . . . :P Wanna join us? LOL!
P.S. I'm so happy that it's going well--let's hope it's smooth sailing from now on. I'm so excited for you to pair your socks and fold your pants with the light on! :D
I feel for ya! I always hated the transition phases with the kids. Watch out! Brooke is a master at getting into our bed still. I will wake up in the middle of the night and she has totally manipulated her dad into take her bed while she takes his spot in ours. I , of course, am oblivious to anything that happened. But, Mike is a pushover when it comes to Brooke.
Well, there no spelunking or body boarding, but I don't think they are nerdy either. I think they make you a well rounded and polished indivdidual. When your husbands favorite thing to do it go play Dungeon and Dragons or video games with a bunch of buddies, then we can talk about nerdy.
Heheheh, you're not talking about anyone in particular, are you? ;)
What video games do you guys have? We have that 20 dollar old fashioned Atari game with like 40 games on it. Our kids enjoy playing Nintendo and Wii at friends' houses. Do you guys have any of those? We love Guitar Hero and Star Wars Legos. I wonder if they make the old fashioned Mario games anymore. I don't understand moder day video games--they make me dizzy since it's 3-D and the rooms move all around. And the controls have so many buttons and controls--they confuse and overwhelm me! What ever happened to the good old day of a joystick and a red button?
I can be a real pushover with bedtime. We have a lot of friends who do the "family bed" method and as the kids get older (toddler, preschool, 5, 6, etc.), the kids transition and share a bed together. They have NO bedtime battles--it's so easy. Why didn't I think of that? That's how it's done in so many places in the world. I've seen it! I sometimes think that only in America do we push the whole "independent" thing like we do--hurry and walk, hurry and talk, hurry and do things yourself. UGH. And then we as parents can sometimes feel like we're not doing well enough if we're not doing that, too. Okay, holy tangent. :P This is something I think about a lot, can you tell? Living in Africa has really affected my world view. :P
Anyway! I'll stop wondering out loud (I'm such a talker) and just say--so sorry, Jill. That is the stuff that pulls at your heart, eh? You're a good mom and I'm sure your kids know how much you love them.
When Kaden was small, were super strict on sleeping in your own bed, but as each kiddo has come along, we got more and more lax on things. Lucy was in our room for nearly a year, partly for space reasons, but a lot of it was because I liked her there. I think it is good for infants to have total security and I know she liked being so close to Kent and I.
The problem now is that we have no access to our room from 7:30 on each night. I can't read in there because the light wakes her up where it used to not, plus I like to fold laundry at night (I don't know why, I just do) and she pops right up the minute I try to put my socks away. It was gettting rather annoying so she had to move out. =)
We moved her in with Weston and it didn't go so super. I ended up sleeping in Weston's bed and Wes was in with Kent. Lucy, however, really liked being in a big crib. She has been in a little pack n' play and I think she was grooving on stretching out.
We'll see how naptime goes, and tonight will be round two.
Wish us luck!
We have friends who have the siblings (3 of them -- ages 5, 4, and 2) share a full (or queen?) sized bed. They say the three of them enjoy it, settle down eventually, and sleep well together. But they're in their own bed together and not in the parents' bed (once the kids wean more and are 1 or older). I hadn't ever heard of that.
Good luck--does she like pillows? Putting a pillow in Maxim's crib made a big difference. But being honest, our kids are 5 and 8 and we find ourselves constantly tweaking our approaches with bedtime (as they get older, they stay up and read, etc.). Sleep is so tricky--you can't force them to sleep but we all full well know how much happier we all are with GOOD, uniterrupted sleep. I hope naps go well and sleep tonight, too!!
You dug out the crib eh? Sorry if I caused you to have storage issues with the other bed!
My advice--Let her cry! It makes me feel good sometimes to just let it out and then move on--I'm sure Lucy is the same- she is a girl after all...good luck!
Hang in there. it will get better.
For the record, nap time round 1 was a breeze! She went right down without a peep. Now we have nap time round 2 to tackle, and bedtime.
My in-laws called us "activists" one time. I was really surprised but to them it seemed so obvious. Activisits? Us? Huh. I hadn't considered it really. They got a big kick out of that. I think they're sometimes not sure what to do with us--we live in an 1850s farmhouse with a big yard instead of a subdivision, we have our own business, we homeschool, we like getting politically and socially involved, we love nerdy hobbies like writing, music, culture, religions, and languages, we grow organic food, we're getting chickens next spring. Chickens! Whatever will they do with us . . . :P Wanna join us? LOL!
What video games do you guys have? We have that 20 dollar old fashioned Atari game with like 40 games on it. Our kids enjoy playing Nintendo and Wii at friends' houses. Do you guys have any of those? We love Guitar Hero and Star Wars Legos. I wonder if they make the old fashioned Mario games anymore. I don't understand moder day video games--they make me dizzy since it's 3-D and the rooms move all around. And the controls have so many buttons and controls--they confuse and overwhelm me! What ever happened to the good old day of a joystick and a red button?