March 26, 2009

Clouds and Sun
Official Weather Makers
The Sky
Our Corner of the Universe

Re: Unacceptable Weather Conditions

Dear Sirs (or Madames?)

On Friday, March 20 you presented us with glorious Spring weather. Shorts and sandals were worn and coats and boots were put away for the year. Today, Thursday, March 26, the weather condition has deteriorated to an almost unrecognizable state. Not only are coats and boots required, but hats, scarfs and gloves have become a necessity.

I am writing you to inform you that this weather is not acceptable.

I have young children who rely on balmy, Spring days to release the energy that has been pent up for the duration of the winter. When you presented us with 70 degree days, only then to replace them with 42 degrees and snow, you wrecked havoc on their little systems and in consequence, wrecked havoc on me. By bringing back winter-like conditions, you have cursed me to a day of whining, crying and restlessness; as well as begging to go outside only to beg to come back in, muddy footprints on my kitchen floor, and a gigantic mess of winter apparel strewn all over my living room.

I would like to see the following actions taken.

First, ban all 40 degree days for the next 6-9 months. They should be replaced with temperatures no lower that 58 with an ideal of 72.

Second, I demand Clouds should take a leave of absence. I feel they are the most responsible party and do not believe this to be an unreasonable request. Sun needs a chance to see what he (she?) is capable of and this goal cannot be achieved with Clouds interference.

To end, I would like to thank you for taking the time to read this letter and fully expect that if my requests are fulfilled, a peaceful co-existence can once again be achieved.

Regards,

Jill Oaks
Mother of Four
Little Brown House in the Middle of the Suburbs